Lockdown Laughter

05/07/2020

Station Location Results!

Apparently, lots of people had a marvellous time.  There was much laughter, in lockdown!  Hurrah for KLARC!

Ron has sent through the following for you lovely people to allow you to work out how well you did. (and you all did better than me.  I was unable to do it.  I’m still sulking.)

Station Location Route-2 Station Location Route-1 Station Location Map

If you click on the links, they come up.  I couldn’t get a good enough resolution on a picture for it to be useful.  Sorry.

I’m going to take this moment to say thank you to the lovely Ron for doing this Station Location, and also say that we have been contacted by someone from Skegness who said that she looked for a club that was “alive and doing things.”  That’s us, because of how awesome you lot are.

Take care (and wash your hands!)

22/06/2020

Slightly news-y to start with, but  Hurrah for Lockdown Andy, who has passed his Foundation! M7ASQ, welcome.

Also welcome, (or welcome back!) Neil (G8PWQ) who approached us via the Facebook page to see where we all were, communicated with the Font Of All Knowledge, and listened in on the net on Sunday.

This years Great Eastern Rally has been postponed. New date is 1st August 2021. This is bright colours for anyone who has missed the announcement thus far.
Castles on the Air has been postpones until next year. New date to follow.

If you want a shoutout or are listening in to a net, do let us know.  We haven’t heard from some people in a while, and we’ll be hunting them down as soon as it’s legal.

Back to the laughter then, and Jeff (G6YPJ) presents to us the laws by which he lives his life.

Jeff’s ‘Laws of Life’.

 

Jeff’s law of mechanical repair – after your hands become coated with dirt and grease, your nose will itch and you’ll have to pee.

 

Jeff’s law of gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt or screw, when dropped, will roll or bounce to the least accessible place in the Universe.

 

Jeff’s law of probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Jeff’s law of random numbers – If you key a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone; someone always answers.

 

Jeff’s variation law – If you change lanes (or queues), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are now in.

 

Jeff’s law of the bath – When you are fully immersed, the telephone or door bell will ring.

 

Jeff’s law of close encounters – The likelihood of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

 

Jeff’s law of the result – When you try to prove to someone that something doesn’t work, IT WILL.

 

Jeff’s law of biomechanics – The severity of an itch is inversely proportional to the limit of the reach.

Ah Jeff.  Where would we be without you? Staring at an empty page that’s where!  Thank you, as always.

Look out for news of Ron’s Great Escape, coming soon!

 

 

 

14/06/2020

What? It’s been a month?  Seriously people. Do something unserious!

We have a message from our regular contributor Jeff, G6YPJ

thought I should buy a new computer from Clive or Kev or Sarah or whoever ….

CLIVE: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
JEFF: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my shack and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
CLIVE: Mac?
JEFF: No, the name’s Jeff.
CLIVE: Your computer?
JEFF: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
CLIVE: Mac?
JEFF: I told you, my name’s Jeff.
CLIVE: What about Windows?
JEFF: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
CLIVE: Do you want a computer with Windows?
JEFF: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
CLIVE: Wallpaper.
JEFF: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.
CLIVE:
Software for Windows?
JEFF: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
CLIVE: Office.
JEFF: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
CLIVE:
I just did.
JEFF: You just did what?
CLIVE: Recommend something.
JEFF: You recommended something?
CLIVE: Yes.
JEFF: For my office?
CLIVE: Yes.
JEFF: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
CLIVE: Office.
JEFF: Yes, for my office!
CLIVE: I recommend Office with Windows..
JEFF: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
CLIVE: Word.
JEFF: What word?
CLIVE: Word in Office.
JEFF: The only word in office is office.
CLIVE: The Word in Office for Windows.
JEFF: Which word in office for windows?
CLIVE:
The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.
JEFF: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
CLIVE:
Money.
JEFF: That’s right. What do you have?
CLIVE: Money.
JEFF: I need money to track my money?
CLIVE: It comes bundled with your computer.
JEFF: What’s bundled with my computer?
CLIVE:
Money.
JEFF: Money comes with my computer?
CLIVE: Yes. No extra charge.
JEFF: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

CLIVE: One copy.
JEFF: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
CLIVE:
Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
JEFF: They can give you a license to copy money?
CLIVE: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

CLIVE: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
JEFF:
How do I turn my computer off?

 

 

CLIVE: Click on ‘START’………….

***********************************************************************************************

Thanks Jeff!

He’s also sent a link to a very https://twitter.com/yvonneridley/status/1269899553345613824funny video

 

17/05/2020

Today we have several people who wish to share the joy of lockdown laughter.

A noteable contribution comes from Charles (M7CEB)

As you are aware, I have spent many hours attempting to get into the KL repeater for the net, but as yet I have not been successful.
I have obviously spoken to a few members via other modes, FT4 and FT8, and via the Wisbeach repeater and also directly via 2m simplex.
I have been trying to think of something funny to add to the lockdown laughter page, and other than when I erected a DX commander and dug up the garden to bury the radials… The look on my wife’s face and her following comments once she saw what I had done!
Today in preparation for receiving an antenna tuner, I decided to send a wire over the roof of the house.
I borrowed one of my daughters squishy toys, tied on some paracord and stood in the middle of the street.
I started swinging it round and round in an attempt to get enough velocity to hurl it over the roof.
I can now confirm that the paracord and daughters toy are both over the roof, unfortunately not my roof, but next doors.
I can also confirm that paracord does amazing rope burns on the hand!
That’s all the remotely funny news I have, it certainly made my wife laugh, I think in part as a revenge karma for what I have done to the garden!

 

We also have an offering from George’s wife, who sent Jack this photo to go in.

Debbie says “George is in his cowboy hat, taking in some lockdown sun!” (At the time of writing, we’re not sure if George knows about the photo, but Debbie does, so that’s ok with us!)

The last word today however, will be left to Jeff (G3YPJ)

We shouldn’t be telling Radio Ham jokes ……….. they are not being very well received . (I’ll get him his coat!)

That’s all for this week – and I didn’t mention Radcom once!

 

73’s

 

29/04/2020

Our first entrant this week is Digital Mike, (G1SCT) who writes in to say

“Just to show this genius hasn’t been totally idle during lock down, I did put that aerial on that tower, connect it to that £30 transverter kit from the Ukraine and worked a few stations in a 4 metre contest last night. (see attached photo)”

He also included a link to the  map to show how far he worked.

https://www.rsgbcc.org/cgi-bin/vhfresults.pl?kml=2020/0yKgZ4HxLtsSC9KdKWQNZMPRQr7KwmU

And all of that on only 10 watts PEP!

What a genius.

Our second entry this week comes from Kev, (M0KKM) who wanted to let us know the dog’s opinion of RadCom. Clearly, he loved it very much – or he was just making Kev a jigsaw!

Kev would also like us to know about the QSO parties that are happening at the moment, for which we are now into week 4.
https://www.rsgbcc.org/hf/rules/2020/rhqp.shtml

Until the next time ladies and gentlemen…

16/04/2020

So, time for a catch up on the lockdown laughter posts.

Our first contributor is Kev (M0KKM) who is so lovely, he’s sent us a picture of his halo…

(Of course, the discerning reader will see that this is  pair of 2m HALO`s phased & stacked, which work really well for 2m ft8.)

Secondly, Robin (G4RB) has sent in a fascinating powerpoint.  Click on the link and click open, and it will present itself on your computer in glorious technicolour.

Homebrew 9-1 UnUn

Lastly, Mike G1SCT would like to assure us all that he is a genius.  He can’t send any posts to prove this, his mere existence is enough.

Until the next time…

05/04/2020

Our first piece of creative genius comes from Mike (M0XXM)

He writes :
‘Recipe for my first Amusing Antenna Attempt.
Ingredients; 4 Screws, 3 Foot of Coax, 2 Silicon Guns and 1 Length of 3×2
Instructions; Laugh for 10 minutes at how silly the idea is. Take 15 minutes to bodge it all together.
Laugh again when you realise that it’s resonant on the 2m calling frequency.

Only one QRP contact so far (M0XXR in the house from the garden).

We shall await updates, probably on the net tonight!

Also, Kev (M0KKM) has produced an antenna, which he claims works well enough to speak to M0XXM.  Again, more updates to come later on the net.

 

02/04/2020

In the spirit of this page, this is Dexter!  He’s 10 weeks old, 10kg, and a bundle of love and entertainment!  He’s play, play, play, play, until the batteries run out and he’s gone!  He keeps Jack (2E0HSP) busy anyway!